When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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