You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
