You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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