Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
