I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
