my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
