Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
