I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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