just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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