I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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