yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
