She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
