Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize