I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I deserve this hangover.
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