And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
