no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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