im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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