I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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