when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
