Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
