hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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