I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
