Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
