this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
