sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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