I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
