Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
