Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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