I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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