My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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