Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
