I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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