I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
