been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
