hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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