you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
