she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
so much tequila, so little girl.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
