He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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