Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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