Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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