I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
