I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
