Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it hurts more in the daytime
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
