MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
