Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
