Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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