She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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