I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
