you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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