Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
