dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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