When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
