plz talk dirty to me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
