He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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