if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
