Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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