did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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