either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
