why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I forget how to act sober
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize