i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize